Day 3 Update
He was my smooth sailor at first, and tasted some of my colostrum and I enjoyed seeing him have a postive oral experience. So we were surprised that Moss had a bit of a hard time yesterday and is recovering from surgery to drain a partially collapsed lung and receive a blood transfusion. I was present for the procedure, and sang to him as he went under and came to. He is now relaxing on high intensity ventilation, mildly sedated and is recovering really well. The docs here are giving the gympie ob (mild and professionally tasteful) shit for not getting the steroid into when I first asked for it. His stats/obs look good.
After Kutura's rough start he is still fighting the ventilator and cranky that it is in his mouth and down his throat. He has been breathing well and it looks like he may come off the ventilator tomorrow and upgrade to c-pap(?) .. where he will be breathing for himself, but have a little help keeping his lungs inflated on the exhale. If all goes well with that he will begin to feed the following day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Memory from the Birth ..
At around 2am Kutura went purple .. I spoke with the doc (good one from bris) about the ethics of keeping him here. I asked him if he wanted to go on the copter with his brother .. I sang om mani padme hum to him .. I had a christian midwife next to me saying a quiet prayer. I had my top off ready to receive him on my skin should he have chosen to pass. I put my finger in his hand and told him it was up to him .. he took a gasp on his own, his body surged and pinked up and even the doc said she was surprised at his strength! He made his choice and off he went!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Bith
Moss 947gms
Kutura 1000gms
On arrival in Brisbane 10 hours later
Moss 949gms
Kutura 950gms
Both heads 25.5cm
Feet are about 6cm long
Hair is dark - black! Eyes are deep water blue. Moss has a kiss curl like his Daddy and Big Sister. Kutura is a lil more like me, and I think his hair may lighten xX
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moss is recovering well from surgery. He is off the high ventilation, and on the 'normal' one again. His sedation has been weaned thruout the day and is now sleeping heavily, rather than sedated. I hope to reconnect with him tomorrow, I hope he is not in too much pain. I am yearning to bond with him and feeling guilt that we are disconnected, tho I know it can't be helped right now.
I have been doing Kutura's 'cares' regularly and am enjoying the bonding that comes with tending his little body. When I arrived today I told the nurse he had a full nappy and said I would change it. She said he did his cares only 2 hours before, and that I could do it with his next cares in a few hours. I disagreed, I told her he is a very heavy wetter like his big sister .. but he looked so settled, I dropped it and agreed seemed silly to wake him. I went next door to visit Moss, a few minutes later Kutura's nurse came and told me Kutura had wet thru his nappy and needed his bedding changed. She asked me if I could help her change his bedding by
holding my baby!
First I changed his nappy. So fragile to lift up that little body. Blood flow needs to be considered when angling, as where cords are, how they are connected and how they move. Then the nurse lifted him to me and managed to cradle him in my hands, I can see how painful it is to move such a tiny precious thing I cried and he looked me in the eye and it calmed me! I melted! His little body snuggled into my hands, the nurse took photos and changed his bedding. my breasts cried. it hurt so much i couldn't hold him to my skin, aching breasts!! but i was grateful for that early gift.
i then prepared for his cares, wiped each eye, cleaned the mucous from his mouth. it hurts him as he is so sensitive to the cord, i can almost feel the rawness in my own throat, my poor darling! the way he tenses his face. i fixed his nappy then gave him his tiny dummy, to which I added a drop of my milk. his eyes shot open with delight and he sucked. i gave him another drop and our eyes remained connected until he drifted off to sleep.
he did not not another ml of milk to his stomach tho, as the 2ml (1ml per feed) he had yesterday didn't digest, as bile was extracted via the tube to his belly. we will wait a day or two then try again.
both babes had brain scans and results show they have experienced bleeding on the brain
this is caused from a lack of oxygen to the brain. moss would have experienced that when his lung was partially collapsed and kutura during his ordeal when the copter landed upon arrival at brisbane.
cerbral palsey (how is that spelt?) is a possibility for 10% of babes with such bleeding .. so lets send some love to keep them in the 90% .. the bleeding is in the ventricals of the brain (ie the gaps, not the body) .. and that is a good sign. both their little heads have improved shape and reduced circumferance size, which means the bleeding has stopped and the brain is hopefully repairing and healing. we will do another scan later this week.
the nurses took a pic of each of the babies and wrote 'hi bro' so they have each other's pics with them
i have been talking a lot about my ethics around getting them together in the future and am feeling my way thru the more responsive nurses and doctors to help me with that. i have been asked lots of curious questions about eating placentas and i am happy to say there are staff learning from me just as i am learning so much from them!
words can't thank EVERYONE .. friends, family, JBers, staff (most of them) .. still overwhelmed and prone to meltdowns like my daughter!
i will be going to the cityfarm on sunday mornings. that will be my social outing of the week, so would love to meet and chat with locals there, as I did m. comfrey this morning xX
time to express AGAIN ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4/7/2010
Moss is recovering from surgery and they are both on ventilators. they get themselves in quite a tangle with just their own necessities in their crib, so i do understand why they are apart. once their breathing is upgraded to cpap (no tube down throat, but in nose), then i will look at getting them together. i will probably skin-to-skin with one at a time until i gain my confidence to receive both .. and i plan on doing that quickly!! i have found a lovely nurse open to helping me get twin-skin time regularly earlier than most, so will be sussing out her roster when the time comes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
considering moss was literally airborne .. air-birth as opposed to water-birth comes to mind
at least the knOb dived in and caught him tho .. what sort of midwife stands back like that when they actually are required to be hands on?? that was so weird
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i have been trying to influence the other mummas in the hospy around what is the expressing room. they call it the dairy .. someone said the lactation consultants came up with that (?) .. we are now calling it the expression room as we have some pretty full on convos in there of course. every story is so different! i have been enjoying looking at the way wimmin are around fear, yet how strong we all are without realising it. milestones and heartache every day .. laughter and tears every day.
My boys are 1 week young today, 28 weeks corrected. Kutura is now keeping his feeds down. He is on 1ml every 6 hours. He is given this directly into his stomach via a tube that is up his nose. After doing his cares (clean each eye, then mouth, then change nappy) I put a little milk on a dummy and drip it into his mouth and give his cheek a gentle stroke. I love the way he opens his eyes at this! Sometimes he takes the dummy, sometimes not. I like the idea of the suckling and feed happening at the same time to help his little system kick in. His head looks good, the brain bleeds he experienced are clearing healing and we are confident all will be well with his next scan in 3 days. I sit for hours with my hands on him singing and chatting to the staff. He loves me being there. Still not in cpap, his oxygen intake is great, but he is still a little slow getting the c02 out. Hopefully tomorrow.
Moss is off his sedation and painkillers, but still not wanting much attention, like his brother is. He like to hold my hand and have me sing to him, but clearly show distress if I place a hand on him. He lung drainage was successful, but his lungs are still healing from damage. I had a great chat with a nurse today who explained it all to me, and I am confident my little fighter can grow his lungs with strenth. His head shape is also looking good following his bleed, but as he is not connecting with me yet the way Kutura is I am yearning him!
There were 2 tubes from the umblicus, one feeding fats, the other used to take blood to do his stats around oxygen/c02/minerals/etc .. these are now in their arms. One has been removed from the naval, the other is still there. Once the other one is out they will be ready for skin to skin. I understand the fear around bleeding from the cord, such is their reasoning for no cuddles till then. Perhaps I will feel differently in time to come.
Expression session complete .. off to hospy.
Love to all
xXXxx
No comments:
Post a Comment