Friday, June 29, 2012

Wow! Moss and Kutura and TWO..!!

Time for update, huh?
I am loving my family of 5 .. the cosleeping with two queen mattresses on the floor is a world away from K in room 4 and M in room 3! It was Matt and Blu on one mattress and da boyz and I on the other .. but things are starting to switch around now they take just one breastfeed overnight each (sometime two). Blu loves snuggling into 'her babies' and K will settle by rolling next to her after a feed ..

So I sit here at 4am .. contemplating my family .. thinking about my birth experience 2 years ago .. it was not a 'Happy Birth Day' .. it was not a Happy BirthING Day .. in fact it is the anniversary of my birthrape .. my rape. Memories stir and emotions rise .. We are all here, so we best be thankful and get on with it, right? Sure, I will focus on making cake and blowing up balloons .. But in my heart I am remembering the RN who tugged on my cord .. I wrap presents .. and recall my little Moss travelling 1.5m in mid-air before his head collided with the knObs's arm .. I sing 'happy birthday' to myself and burst in tears as I remember Kutura's punch to the face he received when only his head was out of my body .. I push it all aside, on the day when it all comes up the most ..

'Medically' my boys are great! We still have Dr D on board for a few months (until they are 2 adjusted), we have found the perfect 'GP' for us all and in recent months have met an amazing guru woman, Angela. She is osteo, cranial-sacral, acupuncturist, neurologist, chi gong master, wise elder, laughing woman!..

Moss was the first to have a session with her, just a few months ago. Due to the ongoing incompetence of Nambour Hospital we have not been going to physio. It was suggested that Moss require muscle and core strength development and that there may be some physio exercises that would help Moss. Angela validated my and Matt's instinct to avoid physio when we understood that exercise won't help muscles that aren't receiving messages from the brain. She told us Moss' little head was full of trauma and blockages, preventing fluid and energy flowing freely up and down his spine. She said it was like a low-pressure flow.  Moss was lacking strength in his hips and torso, very evident when walking-along-holding-hands. After his first treatment he could stand upright while walking-along-holding-hands.

Where Moss was previously struggling to drink and swallow (he took fluids in a syringe and breastfeeds) he can now drink thru a straw and with a cup, also after the first session!  Two more sessions later .. Moss can now walk :) He took his first steps on his own a week ago and his record is now 8 steps! My little boy I was told by some may never walk is walking!! Bathtime is one of his favorite things .. but natural water and sand like the beach sees this lil man in his element. He speaks in bubba jibberish a lot .. very chatty with lots of deep eye contact and expression .. he is a great kisser! He can say clearly 'aw shit' and 'look-a-dat!' and point out lots of things he sees around him, which he says by name (light, star, moon, car, shoe, Mumma ..)

Kutura is a little powerhouse too. He is a sponge for learning and recognises much of his letters, numbers, shapes and colours; his favourites being K, 2, star and red. He has a broad vocabulary and has just started on two syllable words. He clears the kids table often and loves taking the rubbish out with Dadda.
Kutura has always been kinda sitting in his fight/flight response - the main reason I have avoided further intervention of any kind. We are yet to scan his heart to see if the PDA has closed (and see what Dr Ds murmur sound is?) ..
After watching other family members see Angela he was keen for a go. He has relaxed and come into himself since that session .. he now hugs and kisses, high fives and waves .. things he avoided before as he always had his defences up. My K man is such a relaxed little dude!

The three kid thing has been a challenge .. not enough grown ups to go around mixes things up a bit! But the five of us have much rhythm to our lives now.

Teeth (and lack of enamel) is a big thing here! But I plan to do another blog post about the nutricional changes in our kitchen and bellies!!


Well, I didn't get my blogpost up yesterday as planned. It sat here and thought about 'this time two years ago' .. and the thing that hit me most of all .. is how 'in the moment' birth and emergency and the NICU experience is .. right here right now is where my energy was wit my beautiful children.

Off to be here and now with them now.
Thanks for reading my boys birthday blah
Pics for you later ... xX
Suzi :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

18 months on

So my prem boys hit 18 months of age just after christmas, 15 months adjusted. Took them to clinic with Dr D the other day. Our family enjoys catching up with her; the human doctor who helped us grow our babies in that strange sterile world known as the NICU.

I knew she was running late to clinic that morning, as she was with my friend's lil bubba up in ICN. Jett has been there over 100 days now and things are finally starting to move forward for him and his mumma Abby. So we went for coffee while we could and got there late ourselves.

We were greeted by the lovely familiar nurses. We weighed and measured the boys. Moss 9.5kg and 73cm and Kutura 10.5kg and 79cm. A man who was a Dr then came in the room and stood on my shoe, in between Kutura and I, and in front of the nurse I was chatting with. Ah! Emotions around the arrogance and ignorance of this institution came flooding back!

"Excuse me" I said, "I may not be a member of your staff but I am a person and I am standing here". He apologised when he realised what he had done. I told him "I hope you have learnt something today, Sir". He left the room. The nurses laughed. "Have you missed me?" I asked. I said lil sorry to them for making a scene in their space. The reassured me they were ok with it non-verbally showed me their agreeing :)  They warned me that Dr D might not be down today as she was held up, upstairs. The rude Dr was hovering close again; "I ONLY see DONNA" I said in a clear voice with a wry smile. "And I am happy to come back another time if she is busy, I completely understand". The nurses said they would give her a call on my behalf. I told them to tell her that "Jett comes first and we are happy to wait".

Dr D came in, and it was great to see her!
I showed off my Kutura walking dude and my commado funky frog crawling Moss. We hugged. "They look great!" she says.

Updatey Stuff;

Moss - his by-the-book milestones are 'delayed' .. but for someone with his medical history I think he is a speedy lil tough guy! He is by far the happiest baby in the world, he just oozes joy and delight :) He is still seeing Dr G the eye specialist as he has a 'hidden turn' (like a lazy eye, but where a lazy eye is muscular a hidden turn is neurological). It is mild, so it could go either way. We are manifesting it to self-resolve like everything else with him has.

He is rockin' the jolly jumper! Two legs bouncing, lil face grinnin'! Wants to stand on his own, he can for a second or two, gets the wobbles and crashes in for a tackle-cuddle *melts*.

Moss needs to develop more core strength and we are looking at finding a physio or osteo who can help us develop some Moss-specific exercises. My lil man is about to go-go even more!!

Kutura - Ahh my lil Ra! We never got the all-clear on his PDA on leaving the hospital, and I didn't bother seeing the heart specialist he was referred to as the only treatment is surgery around age 2 if the valve is still open. So I deferred tests, and we are looking at getting that echo done soon. Let's hope there is more all-clear signs ahead. He *may* have a murmur, he *does* suffer from seasonal asthma, so let's see what happens. I can't imagine going back in for surgery after coming so far!

We didn't even test his liver function as we think liver disease manifests pretty clearly! Kutura is so active and healthy! Such an outdoor, must be on a mission lil dude! He is powerwalking and experimenting with jogging. He has started doing adventures with Daddy in the morning, which means he sometimes falls alseep on the way home without a breastfeed *sniff*. My big guy!

Is that second teste coming down? Does it need to? There is a risk of prostate cancer with such, I am told. It was prostate cancer than came for my grandfather, but that doesn't mean I want to have a toddler teste pulled into place surgically. We are buying time, but I really don't think Dr D could talk me into that one. Hrmmm ... more research.


Both boys loves stars and lights and ceiling fans. I can't help but wonder about the connection to that helicopter flight shortly after they were born and their memory of it around ceiling fans. We have star shaped light shades of which Moss points and says "Dah!" and Kutura agrees saying "Gar!".

Dr D asked if they had 'a handful of words', of which I said yes. But on further thinking they have MANY words! Mumma, Mum, Dadda, Dad, BooQi, star, boob, cheep (for the chickens), toy, that, car, fish and a few people's names too. Moss even said Dr Ds name three time while bouncing on her lap. Show off! Dr D was happy :)

I will have to add more as I hear them being used. They talk to themselves and each other in a fantastic jibberish more than anything tho, which I adore <3

Life is hectic, but we have home and space and rhythm. We love the move we have made to this beachy town. Loving seeing my children come alive as we shed our skin once again and are born into a new space, a new year and a new state of improved health and happiness.