Gratitude and Complaint

I have been trying to put together a beautiful collection of photos for the corridor of fame in the NICU. I paced those corridors so many hours, looked up at pictures of tiny fragile babies alongside their healthy 1 or 2yo picture. Such hope they provided for those of us in there, from those that had been there before. A generous thankyou is usually included for the sta of the NICU. Yet I cannot bring myself to put my 'thing' together for the walls. It's not that I don't feel grateful, it's just there is so much ummmm 'feedback' I am yet to give.

But I haven't done much around getting my formal complaints in either. All the interventions that happened without my consent. The way certain staff members behaved and how they shouldn't be there. The way the system is set up for convenience of staff, not mothers n babes. I guess I haven't gone thru with this coz I am so full of gratitude for having my babies home with me.

I am thankful for our neonatologist explaining everything to us, taking the time to answer my questions most days, changing the way things are done to accommodate the way I wanted some things done and for thanking me for fighting to have her called ay home on a night where the other staff on duty were fucked-in-the-head and I kept saying 'I don't consent to anything' until I speak with her! I am thankful she has stayed on board to be the boys out-patient doctor. Yay for a human! :)

I am thankful for the head nurse of SCN. Her hugs, her chats, her ability to see that what I was asking was right and to find a way to allow it within a system that didn't. Her ability to gently pull me into line when I went to far. Her friendship. <3

I am thankful for the kindness of so many nurses, doctors ad other staff members.

Yet I still tense up when I think of the staff members that acted unnecessarily, without thinking, against my known wishes or that were downright nasty. I endeavor to get my individual shit down in writing, for the benefit and advocacy of future families in there. I know once I have done this it will be easier to continue on my life in gratitude and warm thanks for what I have learnt, who the experience has made me and for my beautiful family :)

I am even thankful to the staff at Gympie Hospital ~ for not killing us.